Underpants, Obviously...(Shuggie Bain - Douglas Stuart)
With Greg Philippi, John Brennick, Joseph Adeiye, Dennis Da-ala Mirilla,Vanessa Walters, Haroon Khan - May 25th, 2021
Underpants, obviously…
Underpants, obviously, I thought as I shed my undergarments while he stood glaring. Destined to work in mum's business, I knew this day would come. I opened my legs as I lay bare on the worn duvet. He looked down on me, unshaven and unsmiling with his camel’s breath. Not that I’d know what a camel's breath smelled like but someday I did hope to travel the world, and well, I’d know then. For now, I just assumed it was unpleasant and it was as he pressed his cheek against my face rubbing it raw. Thoughts of camels and far away lands were all that kept me sane. His sweat smelled rank. I'd feign a smile afterwards, then pull on my clothes and rush for the shower when he was finally gone. Life was on one level, low and sometimes lower. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a large roach climbing the torn wallpaper…
By Greg Philippi
Underpants, obviously…
If we time-traveled to medieval Europe
We'd marvel at what's there,
And what's not there:
Machines and their noises -
No cars, no refrigerators humming.
Literal radio silence.
We'd be impressed by nature:
Wildlife, including wolves. The trees, including very large ones.
The absence of plastic.
Fewer clothing options and styles.
And what would we miss most?
Underpants, obviously!
By John Brennick
Underpants, obviously…
His room is never in order, never had been, and never will be. I used to tease him with the phrase “my untidy teddy buddy” in the first few months we stayed together. Then I began to admonish him more often. Gradually, admonition became unrestrained chastisement. There’s always a book to kick off the floor, a smeared plate waiting to offend me, or what is that sleeping soundly on our sofa? His underpants, obviously. This time, my cup is missing, and I’m thinking for a second that this almost futile search for a container will be the death of me. Of us.
By Joseph Adeiye
Underpants, obviously…
Obviously, he hated the shorts.
They made him feel like he was wearing his underpants but he loved the sports. A bit too much. When you grow up in Warri like he did, it was the first thing that came to mind. To grow up and become a footballer.
On Saturdays, all the boys on the streets gathered at the field not too far from where his mother smoked fish and played till the sun was out.
He was somewhat of a star, and people told him that he could succeed at it if he focused just a bit more and played a bit harder, and just gave it more time.
There was a time when he believed that that was possible, him becoming a football star. But now, in his forties, he knew better. The chances of an agent or a coach or anyone who could really do anything watch him play was slim, especially as he didn’t live in one of the commercial hubs like Lagos or Kano, where the chances were also slim, but it was more likely that he got signed by an agent.
The curse of being a slow learner, I guess.
By Dennis Da-ala Mirilla
Underpants, obviously…
White grey yellowing. Creased like a fan. They looked disgusting, especially in the half-light. It was gloomy in that room, not just because of the light but the two of us. Me on the bed and him standing in front of me. Waiting.
The coverlet under my hand was crocheted and made me think of babies and grandmothers knitting endlessly. Made me notice how small the bed was, how the springs sagged. How if I leaned back too fast, I’d hit my head on the wall. A small room for a small moment. One I’d soon forget. Hopefully. I don’t like to remember things like that. Like those pants, and me caught between him and the wall wondering what to do next. I shuddered even though I was not cold.
By Vanessa Walters
Underpants, obviously…
Plot Points - Part 2
Underpants obviously need changing daily
Morning pages
Brushing teeth
Flossing
A shower
A walk
Reading
The list goes on
Habits
Necessary scaffolding
to weather the storm
of dopamine fluctuations
Mine crash
like bitcoin after an Elon Musk announcement
But, consistency is my friend
Allowing me to avoid vertigo
Walking in straight lines
allows me to plot
the shortest path
By Haroon Khan